Honouring Parent

Honouring Parents

The virtue and fruits of honouring parents in this world and the hereafter

A Muslim reaps the fruits of honouring their parents in this world before the hereafter, although the reward in the hereafter is greater. Some of the most significant virtues of honouring parents in both this world and the hereafter include:

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How to show ‘acts of goodness’ (Ihsan) to parents

Wholesome communication:
(Birr al-Walidayn, or kindness with the tongue):

Your communication should be aligned with this command from Allah to His servants: “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them even ‘ugh’, nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.” (Verse 23 Surah Al-Isa)

Performance (actions) of filial responsibilities such as:

Some examples of how to show gratitude to parents:

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Examples of honouring parents after their death:

The practice of honouring parents does not cease with their death; it is an ongoing act of kindness and obedience that continues even after they are gone. Some ways of honouring parents after their death include:

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Proofs from the Quran (Verses)

Surah Al-Baqarah

Surah Al-Isra

Surah An-Nisa

Surah Luqman

Surah Al-Ahqaf

Surah Al-'Ankabut

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Filial duty towards a mother

Filial piety is one of the best acts Muslims offer to Allah. The virtue was outlined in verses in the Holy Quran and the Sunnah. Allah Almighty instructed us to do good by our parents in the Holy Quran, which states: “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honour your parents.”
Honour for a mother received ample attention in these texts, emphasising her status. The benefits of filial duty towards a mother are as follows:

First, honouring your mother is prioritised over honouring your father or others

In the Sunnah, a person came to the Prophet (PBUH) and asked: “Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest.”

Second: Praising your mother is likened to praising Allah.

Allah Almighty likened praising parents to praising him, as we can see in the Surah Luqman, when Allah Almighty said: “And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So, be grateful to Me and your parents.”

Third: Honouring your mother is one of the most favoured deeds before Allah.

This was further clarified by the Prophet (PBUH), when he was asked: "Which action is dearest to Allah?" He (ﷺ) replied, "Performing As-Salat (the prayer) at its earliest fixed time." The Prophet (PBUH) was then asked, "What is next (in goodness)?" He (ﷺ) said, "Kindness towards parents." The follow-up question was: "What is next (in goodness)?" He (ﷺ) replied: "To participate in jihad in the cause of Allah."

Fourth: Honouring your mother is better than jihad for Allah

Sahih Muslim narrated that it is reported that a person came to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and sought his permission to participate in jihad. The Prophet (ﷺ) asked, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet a(ﷺ) said, "[You should] consider their service as jihad."

Fifth: Honouring your mother saves you from hardships

Abdullah b. Umar reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Three persons set out on a journey. They were overtaken by rain and they had to find protection in a mountain cave where, at its mouth, there fell a rock of that mountain and thus blocked them altogether. One of them said to the others: Look to your good deeds that you performed for the sake of Allah and then supplicate Allah, the Exalted, that He might rescue you (from this trouble). One of them said: ‘O, Allah, I had my parents who were old and my wife and my small children also. I tended the flock and when I came back to them in the evening, I milked them (the sheep, goats, cows, etc.) and first served that milk to my parents … And (O, Allah) if Thou art aware that I did this in order to seek Thine pleasure, grant us riddance from this trouble.’ (The rock slipped a bit) that they could see the sky.”

Sixth: Honouring your mother erases sins

Abdullah b. Umar reported that: “A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: ‘O, Messenger of Allah! I have been afflicted by a tremendous sin. Is there any repentance for me?’ He said: ‘Do you have your mother?’ The man said: ‘No.’ He said: ‘Do you have any maternal aunts?’ The man said: ‘Yes.’ He said: ‘Then be dutiful to them’.”

Seventh: Honouring your mother increases one’s livelihood and protects you from an early or bad death

Anas bin Malek reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Whoever would like his lifespan to be extended, his provision to be increased and a bad death to be warded off from him, let him fear Allah and uphold his ties of kinship.” Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said a mother is at the top when it comes to upholding ties of kinship.

Eighth: Not honouring your mother brings disgrace and prevents entry to Jannah

The Sunnah reported that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “May he be disgraced, may he be disgraced, may he be disgraced, whose parents, one or both, attain old age during his lifetime, and he does not enter Jannah (because he was not dutiful to them).”

Ninth: Honouring your mother is a virtue that prophets and messengers have always been keen to promote

As mentioned in the Holy Quran on the tongue of Jesus (peace be upon him): “and to be kind to my mother. He has not made me arrogant or defiant”. and so were the other prophets.

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Reasons why mothers are prioritised in acts of kindness and honour

There are several reasons for prioritising mothers over fathers and others during the performance of acts of kindness, and they include:

First reason

The immense effort and hardship that a mother endures during pregnancy, birth and child-rearing. The mother struggles to protect and feed her child and stays awake to ensure their comfort. She continues doing this until the child grows up and becomes independent.

Second reason

The mother is physically weaker and more vulnerable than the father, so she is given precedence in kindness.

Third reason

The hardships the mother faces in bearing and raising the child are involuntary, while the father’s hardships are voluntary. The mother sacrifices her health and comfort for the sake of her child, so she is given precedence in kindness and in being supported financially when needed.

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Etiquettes to observe towards mothers

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